Iran Crushes Squirrel Spy Ring
Iranian police have arrested fourteen squirrels for spying, reports the official Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA). The crack Iranian police captured the spy squirrels near the border, outfitted with listening devices provided by a foreign intelligence service. Obviously, the squirrels didn't build those electronic listening devices themselves. That would be crazy to suggest.
Now, I kinda hope this is true and the CIA is behind this because it would mean my tax dollars are going to a good cause, making the crazy-ass Iranian madmen spend their time chasing spy squirrels. Maybe the CIA is fomenting a secret squirrel revolution in Iran, one nut at a time. That would be great.
However, it's more likely that this is just a taste of the crazy crap which passes for news in the Muslim world, whose media is a sea of lies and conspiracy theories that sound ludicrous to educated people in the civilized West, but perfectly plausible to illiterate and bigoted Muslims. Why, if the infidels were sending squirrels to spy on you, you'd be ticked, too.