Message From Mars

At long last, proof positive of intelligent life on other planets has been delivered by the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter which has been searching the Red Planet for traces of water since October 2006. This photo of a smiley face on the desolate surface was taken by a special high-definition camera carried by the NASA space probe in a crater nearly two miles wide in the Nereidum Montes, a mountain range.

While we busy ourselves with our earthly concerns, are we being watched by alien intelligences, cool and unsympathetic, studying us through their telescopes like we might scrutinize bugs through a microscope? Is this Martian mockery? If so, I don't care for it, not one little bit. Sure, attack us if you must, but we won't put up with abuse from a bunch of weenie-ass Martian maggots.

Or is this some sort of prank carried out by three-armed Martian teenagers carving out giant smiley faces on their dune buggies? If so, it's hardly proof of superior intelligence but rather of the poor parental discipline of a Martian ghetto where kids just run wild.

Or are they just telling us to have a nice day?