Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Allah Commands You To Kill Yourself

The LRAD (Long Range Acoustic Device) projects a focused beam of sound that, when it hits a persons head, creates a painfully loud screech, but only in that one skull. People standing next to the target hear nothing. They have no idea why the guy next to them ran away screaming or is rolling on the ground.

The US Navy discovered it could also broadcast speech for about the distance of a football field so they put it to use clearing the way for their ships in the northern part of the Persian Gulf. A destroyer would aim the LRAD at a sailor on a fishing ship to warn him they were coming through. That really freaked the fishermen out when they started hearing voices in their heads beamed from the big American ship. That's when things got interesting.

The Army has quietly deployed the LRAD to Iraq to mess with the heads of jihadis, who tend to be religious and superstitious. When our guys beam messages from Allah into their thick skulls, the jihadis go nuts. When Allah tells you in a revelation that you are a filthy dog who should surrender immediately, what's a jihadi gonna do? When Allah abandons your jihad, you might as well pack your Koran and go home.



Anonymous Lisa said...

Now, if we can only beam that message worldwide to all the psycho terrorists... we'd be all set!

Fri Dec 21, 08:51:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Tantor said...

Good point, Lisa. Instead of narrowcasting Allah's commands into their heads we need to broadcast it.

Fri Dec 21, 10:07:00 AM 2007  
Blogger heidianne jackson said...

merry christmas tantor!

Mon Dec 24, 10:34:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Tantor said...

Merry Christmas backatcha, Heidi, baby, and a Happy New Year full of victory in Iraq and a brand spankin' new Republican president.

Thu Dec 27, 01:10:00 PM 2007  
Blogger heidianne jackson said...

happy new year, tantor to you and yours!

Mon Dec 31, 09:28:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Tom the Redhunter said...

No doubt the libs will denounce the LRAD as torture any day now.

Sat Jan 05, 02:10:00 PM 2008  

Post a Comment

<< Home