Space Aliens Attack Sicily

The good people of Canneto di Caronia in northern Sicily were alarmed when their household goods spontaneously combusted. Cookers, electrical appliances, wedding gifts, and even furniture were catching fire for no apparent reason.

At first, it seemed like it could all be explained by poltergeist. The Vatican’s chief exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth said, "I’ve seen things like this before. Demons occupy a house and appear in electrical goods. Let’s not forget that Satan and his followers have immense powers." Excellent point. Let's not forget the Clinton White House.

Fortunately, reason prevailed when the government ordered the Civil Protection Department to investigate. They think the most likely cause was space aliens. The Italian government, after a two year investigation costing two million bucks says the fires were "caused by a high power electro magnetic emissions which were not man made and reached a power of between 12 and 15 gigawatts." The space aliens left behind their telltale footprint: "burnt imprints which have not been explained were found in a field." The Italians think that it could be a UFO landing site.

Francesco Mantegna Venerando, Sicily’s Civil Protection chief and coordinator of the report, said: "We are not saying that little green men from Mars started the fires but that unnatural forces capable of creating a large amount of electromagnetic energy were responsible. ... This is just one possibility we are also looking at another one which involves the testing of top secret weapons by an unknown power which are also capable of producing an enormous amount of energy."

It sounds like the Sicilians are a breath away from blaming Bush and his militarists from making their microwaves catch on fire.