Evil Clown Convicted

Dennis Hinkamp was a volunteer working at the Burning Man counterculture festival in the Black Rock desert of Nevada. On the last day of the festival as the crowd surged toward the tall wooden man soon to be set afire, he was riding his bike away when he was jumped by a clown, who pushed him off his bicycle. When Hinkamp tried to stand up, the clown punched him in the face and rode away on the stolen bike. The attacker blended into the crowd, all of whom looked pretty much like clowns themselves. Poor Hinkamp broke his arm, requiring two plates implanted to fix it.

The clown was tracked via the Internet to a sect of evil clowns called Anarchoclowns. The culprit, Johnny Goodman, a nursing student in a hospital in Washington state, was convicted and ordered to pay $29,000 restitution.