Monday, August 15, 2005

Waiting For Allah

From the New York Times comes the story of Zeeshan Siddique, a 25 year old British Muslim of Indian descent from a London suburb, which he fondly recalls as a "vital organ of the minions of the devil," waiting in Peshawar to be a suicide bomber. He wrote a diary while waiting to meet Allah and get his seventy-two, count 'em, seventy-two virgins.

"All alone in a strange land. I can trust no-one except Allah."

The life of a jihadi was not all glory for the dimwitted Siddique: "Im constantly laughed at & ridiculed." He did not much care for his accommodations: "I can't live in filth unlike u animals." And he hated his Pakistani neighbors, who are "dirty geezers," and a Pakistani store owner who is a "monkey con artist." Siddique was furious at these Pakistanis who "claim 2 b Muslim" but "don't get it thru there thik heads" that it is their "fard," (religious duty), to wage holy war on the infidels. He hates Pakistan's president, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, better known to Siddique as Satan. He doesn't much care for the Prime Minister of Iraq, Ibrahim al-Jaafari, either, whom he calls "the dog of the hell fire."

Worst of all, he misses his parents but the only way he can spend eternity with them is martyrdom. The homesick Siddique soldiers on: "Do not waver or become weak. This is the only way I can be reunited with Mummy and Daddy."

Even so, Siddique had his happy moments listening to BBC radio tell of the death of "Yankee pigs" in Iraq and Afghanistan. He got a chuckle out of the deaths of Prince Rainier of Monaco and writer Saul Bellow. He gloats, "Excellent news. May Allah curse them." Best of all, Pope John Paul II died. Siddique gleefully wrote that "Allah will throw him in hell."

Siddique ran with a bad crowd, becoming friends with one of the wannabe July 21 bombers who failed to kill any infidels in the London Tube and friends with another Brit who became a hero of Islam by blowing himself up in a Tel Aviv nightclub in 2003.

Siddique mourns the superiority of those damned infidels but finds hope they'll be slaughtered in the end: "Indeed the kafrs do possess everything at the moment but for how long. Indeed the armies of Islam are coming."

Sadly for Siddique's dreams, what came were not armies of Islam but Pakistani security who raided his hole and dragged him off to prison, where he now will be imposing his long-awaited Islamic state on the cockroaches and bedbugs in his cell.


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